Oct 05
Help Me Save My Marriage
There are times when it may feel like you’ve tried everything to save your marriage on your own and your ready to go into a marriage counselors office and beg them to ” help me save my marriage”.
You need advice from someone other than yourself and the thoughts going through your own mind because all of the emotions are just taking over and you can’t think straight anymore. I know, I have been there.
I’m sure you have some friends who made it through their marriage problems and managed to prevent a divorce. Maybe you can ask them how they did it. Ask what steps they took, how did they work through their issues? They may not have the same problems as you, but some may. For me, when I finally started talking to friends, I found that quite a few had the same exact issues as me. And if not, they had friends that did that were willing to offer advice.
Even if those couples seem to have a perfect relationship now, you may be surprised to hear what they’ve gone through. Of course, what worked for them may not always work for you. But it can give you some ideas.
The Internet is also a good place to find information on just about everything and marriage problems are no exception. There are quite a few well known online forums where you can ask questions anonymously and get a variety of opinions from people who have been through what you are going though. You can also just read posts similar to your own situation and see the advice given and what others have gone through. I did this myself in a couple of well known forums and privately emailed a lady in my situation and she and I have become the greatest of online friends, helping each other through lifes ups and downs over the last couple of years, not only with our marriages, but with children, and any other bumps along the way.
So while you are perhaps feeling miserable and don’t know where to turn, there are others out there who are going through the same thing and are willing to help online.
Then there is marriage counseling. A marriage counselor has training in helping couples resolve their conflicts and many years of experience working with different types of couples and problems. They have seen and heard it all.
Of course alot of times only one person wants to go. (as was the case with me) Usually, the partner who doesn’t want to go believes the marriage is already over and he or she believes counseling is a waste of time. If you’re spouse feels that way, don’t give up just yet and don’t pressure or beg.
Counseling can help,sometimes, but it’s not a cure-all. And sometimes, unfortunately,it does not work at all. Did you know the average marriage councilors success rate is only around 30%? In some ways that makes it seem like its hardly worth shouting “Help me save my marriage!” at the counselor. But it is.
Counseling is definately worth it if you can afford to go, if your insurance covers it and if your spouse will go.
What about Self Help Books?
While searching online for help, you’ve probably seen alot of self help ebooks that give guidance for working through a rough patch in a marriage even when one partner is ready to call it quits, is cheating, has already left, and in some cases has even filed for divorce. It may not seem like it, but in reality, the best of these can be surprisingly effective.
Most of these plans were developed by highly experienced marriage counselors who found a “formula” for what works, so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counselors.
Whatever you do, don’t think the problems between you and your spouse will disappear on their own. You can’t sit and wonder “Who Can help me save my marriage?” You need to decide what your going to do, where your going to go for advice and help and act on it as soon as possible. The longer you put it off, the harder your problems will be to solve.
There are few EBooks that helped me through when I was unable to contact my counselor or our session was days away. I needed somewhere to turn, and the ebooks I had kept me grounded and helped me stay focused on what I needed to do for not only myself but ideas on what I needed to do for my family and my marriage.
Learn what you can do to save your marriage and the variety of ebooks available. For extra guidance and help I definately recommend an ebook or two for additional help. Not only for ideas on how to work on your marriage, the things you should or shouldn’t do, but also things to get yourself into a more positive place for your own well being.
There are also many programs/Ebooks available in the links to the right.
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